Here we go again! “What I’m Eating Wednesday”. But first a confession.
Because of the social media fast, I haven’t posted a WIEW in a few weeks! And in that time, my macros have been all over the place. (Insert giant eye roll because I’m an instagram writer at heart.) Just when I decide I’m over the scale and going to reverse diet up to higher calories, (because if I’m not losing, I may as well find a happy, well-fed maintenance where I can hold this same weight right? Or maybe just maybe I’ll be one of the lucky ones that “wasn’t eating enough” and my body will kick into gear and start burning again with more calories)…. but just then, I hear or read something that makes me think I just need to dig a LITTLE deeper. That for whatever reason, it can just be harder to have success cutting the second and third time around.
WHERE’S THE SCIENCE? I don’t know. It’s there, but I’m too busy making pumpkin cookies and what not. Someone tell me why beginner’s luck is so real! But it’s SO REAL.
Extra pounds are just annoying
My first go at cutting two years ago made me feel invincible. The fat just melted off! I was leaner than I’d ever been and that feeling just may have ruined me dangit. Since then, 8-10 pounds (some of which are muscle for sure, but NOT all) have crept on over time and are laughing at me now. Like there’s NOTHING I can do to shed them. Like they’ve built a firm foundation and are hunkering down for a long winter. I’m not overweight…I love and appreciate my body. I don’t have a disorder or obsession (the latter is debatable but a topic for another day… or every mighty muffin post) and I could just accept the higher weight and probably will soon. But I just haven’t QUITE gotten there. Goals can be addicting and confusing sometimes! Like I don’t want to be this fool, chasing a mirage… or letting a few pounds take up too much of my thoughts or energy… but I also don’t want to quit just before the bend that reveals the finish line!
I debated keeping this to myself because:
- A: I feel like a crazy person and would rather be a non-crazy person.
- B: I hardly have time to pee these days so I haven’t taken the time to do enough research to support whether I should be cutting farther or fueling more.
- C: Eating less is no fun and is much less popular than eating more. I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news!
- D: I’m setting you up to find me even more crazy when I’ve done a 180 by next week.
But I want to be transparent
So at the risk of seeming highly fickle (guilty) and noncommittal (guilty) and a little slave to the scale when I know it’s super uncool (guilty)… I’ll confess I lowered my macros a bit over the last two weeks. I’ve learned I can’t seem to be as strict in my counting as I once was, so I dipped lower than I’d ever been, a tiny bit under 1500 calories, figuring then I’d REALLY eat at around 1600 by the time I’ve licked some peanut butter knives and taken a chunk of granola that didn’t fit my macros out of my dessert bowl just to accidentally put it in my mouth instead of back in the bag. True story. Like daily true story.
Take a breath because I know you’ve been holding it.
The scale is the same. Shocker I know. Hunkered down. Same. And the holidays and white chocolate peppermint pretzels are getting dangerously close and even though I would have loved to slide into my winter jeans with a little less squat and tug action, I have no intention of going through the holidays in a “cut.” So it’s looking like it’s time to reverse slowly up to more calories and maintain my new frame. If I had serious weight-loss goals, I might want to make it a priority regardless of the season… but for the five pounds I was hoping for… I don’t think it’s worth it.
SO– essentially I’ve told you I’m crazy and don’t know what I’m doing but as of TODAY…. I’m back to a slow reverse and have my goals at 170c/50f/140p 1690 cal and plan to slowly work them back up to over 2000. But I make no promises. Ha! And you have to love me anyway.
On to the FOOD!
WIEW 170c/50f/140p 1690 cal
Pre-workout: 21.6c/1.8f/4.7p 121 cal
THREE of these healthy little pumpkin cookies. I am the biggest skeptic of weird macro-friendly treats, and these are definitely macro-friendly AND — kind of weird I’ll be honest. But I’m also totally into them. My whole family is — which honestly throws me every time because — no butter! And hardly any sugar! I mean they’re hardly a cookie when I type that. More like a muffin… But then look at them, so cute and pumpkiny and somehow – YUMMY! They have their place.
Post-workout: 11c/3.3f/6.5p 95 cal
Tomato basil rice cake with cottage cheese and everything Bagel Seasoning from Trader Joe’s. Easiest thing for me to grab when I want something savory to hold me over till lunch. No slicing… so much flavor from that rice cake – even if I don’t have time to grab the bagel seasoning or salt.. it’s great! And I can eyeball 60 g of cottage cheese which means when I’m racing out the door and don’t want to weigh anything it’s JUST fine.
Lunch: 48.4c/12f/41.2p 436 cal
My all-time favorite turkey sub. Like every time I make a sandwich. I make this sandwich. It’s been a while since I’m ALWAYS eating the crunch wrap lately. But I ran out of my Cut Da Carb wraps! So I decided to plan for and ENJOY every last extra calorie on this baby. I know there are other flavor profiles – I do– but if I’m eating a sub… I want THIS. Chipotle cream, mustard… pepperoncinis… bacon, avocado, lite swiss… it all has to be there. But if you wanted to shed some of that fat… EASY- just skip those last three. It’s ALL about getting the right bread and hollowing it out. Details on the sandwich recipe.
Afternoon snack: 25c/12f/18p 298 cal
My favorite protein bar ever. Higher in fat than most.. because it’s made of peanut butter and things that taste good instead of whey and things that don’t. So I have to plan for it if I want one. And I usually do. There are certain meals that just don’t require much fat to make them good and satisfying to me (like this dinner below), so I try and throw in one of those to compensate. I’ve just learned I appreciate my fat more in treat form. They’re firm out of the fridge but soften of course as they sit… reminding me of a thick no-bake bar. Heaven. I have a discount code (Lillie for 20% off) and do receive a little commission when you use it to order FYI. But that only started recently after I kept my fridge stocked for 2 years- scouts honor. Just know the love is real- ha.
Dinner: 32c/7f/30p 319 cal
Bigger than it looks… 300 grams of spaghetti squash with 300 grams of turkey bolognese.. a recipe that’s coming soon! We had it lastnight and I couldn’t wait to have the leftovers again tonight. Ross and the kids had theirs over bucatini and Ross would NOT stop talking about it. I’m tooting my horn… but not really – he is. It was good. And so light obviously. Stay tuned.
Dessert: 24c/11f/35p 321calories
And maybe the most shocking of it all. I don’t know how it happened. But I got hooked on “pro-yo” or “protein ice-cream” — which is really just a protein shake. But it’s done right! This is the best photo I had lying around and it’s got a good detailed recipe, but not exactly how I’m doing it right now. This is my perfect combo right now:
- 35 g protein powder (more than a scoop because I like to overcomplicate things)
- 8 oz Califia Farms toasted coconut almond milk
- 170 g ice
- ¼ tsp xanthan gum (bought it in the beginning of macros because everyone was always posting this stuff. And now I’m glad I have it! Even if I do have a lifetime supply. HA.
- A blurp of vanilla extract
Then blend a little longer than you think till it’s smooth and creamy. I have a history of messing up the texture of my protein shakes. Hate them too watery, too icey, but if I blend too long and it’s frothy FORGET it. This has really been working for me. Then I pour it in a tall metal tumbler for ultimate cold factor and because it feels huge which makes my heart sing. (It’s way bigger than this cute little guy from my blog.
- STIR in (got this from this cute girl Yayfortoday) 5 grams of cocoa powder and 12 g of pbfit. Like not blended in… but just stirred in afterwards so it’s a little chunky/gritty… in all the right ways
- Top with a bunch of fat free Reddi Whip, and 15 grams of Purely Elizabeth granola (which is the best and only granola we stock over here). More on my lucky nights with macros to spare.
Phew. I think I’m done and fresh out of catchy closes because the truth is, this post has taken me a million hours to type (CHILDREN) and I’m dying to go eat that bowl of spaghetti squash I’ve yet to fit in.
I relate to everything you wrote in your post, so refreshing to read. I can get so hard on myself and then be like, you shouldn’t worry about the scale… Blah blah blah, truth is I do look at the scale. It helps me stay in check somewhat. And then I think, intuitive eating…I am ready for that, nope, I pretty much suck at that. It’s nice to know that others feel a bit all over the place finding that sweet spot and that the first time around is where all the magic is at, it is like it just melted away. Thanks for posting all your thoughts. You aren’t crazy and I love that you share it all and your awesome recipes with us.
Shannon! Thanks for this comment. At least if we are crazy, we’re in this together. Ha! I just figure may as well be honest with myself right?
I gotta say. Your honesty is refreshing. I’m 41 and still worry about the scales, count calories and give up and start over. I am a little overweight and it drives me bonkers. I have been at this weight despite everything since my oldest was born. She’s 10 😜. Anyway, I get it and it is refreshing to me to to hear, Eat more! It will rev your metabolism!” Or “don’t look at the scale, it doesn’t matter!” Anyways, thanks for your honesty, I appreciate it!
Thank you! I know I feel like I’m supposed to preach one thing… but luckily I can’t help but say what I really think. ha! Thank heavens there are a few like you who feel the same. xo Thank you so much for taking the time to comment! So fun to get one over here sometimes!
I really am so glad that there is another woman out there like me- in both humor and love of volume of food! Seems like most folks these days are scared to eat…especially ladies that eat like birds (bc they feel like this is the only way to lose weight) but deep down knowing they want to get-down with ya! I love to eat! The foodie in me also loves that you season things appropriately and layer flavors. Just because you’re in a cut doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice flavor. Anyway, I’m a fan Lillie, you rock!
You’re fellow foodie friend,
Amber (a.j.plus4 on IG or shejumper)
Thank you! Best feeling when I know someone gets it. Ha! I love you for leaving this comment.